


Muddy waters

by daggerix



Category: IZONE (Band)
Genre: Family Bonding, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggerix/pseuds/daggerix
Summary: Who would've guessed that instead of bringing home a souvenir, Sakura's father had instead decided to stay over in that foreign country and marry someone?
Relationships: Jang Wonyoung/Miyawaki Sakura
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. The Two Step-sisters

**Author's Note:**

> Based on that one tweet by Keem and heavily inspired by manga Ikoku Nikki. And gaise keep yo pitchforks, this isnt a romance fic.

The first time Sakura had met Wonyoung was during their parent’s wedding. In the heavily decorated hall with blue-ish tint lights, she who did know a single soul was treading through the crowd of unfamiliar people when their eyes met. 

Sakura had never seen the young girl before, only heard of the name once, but she knew who it was the moment they looked at each other. There was recognition in their eyes, a brief connection between two strangers who were linked by fate.

Sakura had flown all the way from Japan, taking three days leave from writing her thesis just to be present at the ceremony. It was the very wedding where her _otou-san_ was to be binded with the promise of forever with someone other than her late _okaa-san_. It had felt ironic, she thought, that he would be married for the second time before she had even does it once. It had felt almost silly too, and also upsetting as all these times Sakura believed no one could ever take her _okaa-san_ ’s place in her heart. She's irreplaceable, the one and only to both her and her _otou-san_. And yet he did the unthinkable. 

Various conflicting feelings that were brewing inside her then, conflict between respect, agreement, unfathomable unease and slight betrayal. 

“Saa- _chan_ , I found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with,” he had said over the phone a few months prior to the engagement, his deep voice cracking slightly with each word uttered. The news came unexpected, out of the blue that Sakura didn't know what to say. She was surprised to the point of being speechless. Racking her brain over a response, any response in which she failed to, Sakura decided to keep mum and listen. 

“Saa- _chan_ , I still love your _okaa-san_ very much,” he continued. “And while I know the void she had left couldn’t be filled by someone else, this _otou-san_ of yours wanted to spend the rest of his remaining life without regrets…” he paused before taking a slow but deep breath. 

“I want to be happy, Saa- _chan_ ,”

The words her _otou-san_ said had melted the initial rejection Sakura had felt. She was still repulsed by the idea but the longer her _otou-san_ explained himself, the softer her heart had felt that she relented in the end. Never had she heard him speak so much in the years they had spent together. But what finally broke her resolve to reject the idea was that as the old man told her stories of the said woman, she had also heard her _otou-san_ smiling through the phone. And that was the final decisive reason for Sakura to agree with what her father had said, how he wanted to propose to a woman he had thought as lovely. 

When she had asked why hadn't he offered the said woman a ring yet, her _otou-san_ hesitated, giving way for a short silence to fill up the gap between them.

“I want to ask for Saa- _chan_ ’s blessing,” he said after.

There was no way she could've denied what was sought. 

"You deserve to be happy." 

She had meant every word she had said for they were the ones that came straight from her heart. Ultimately, all that she wanted was his happiness. 

And so she agreed with the wedding, under the condition that her late _okaa-san_ ’s ring was still Sakura’s and her _otou-san_ needed to purchase a new ring for her soon step-mother. The condition was agreed on without hesitation.

However before the old man had ended the call, he briefly mentioned that the woman he was going to marry was a widow and that she had a child from the previous marriage. The knowledge thankfully did not change Sakura's mind, she was set on getting a new family. 

“You’ll have a sister soon, her name is Wonyoung.”

“That's a beautiful name,” Sakura had said, complimenting out of politeness. 

“As beautiful as the person herself. Although you’re much prettier, our Saa-chan.”

Sakura took the compliment shyly before bidding her dear _otou-san_ goodbye. 

Relieved. That was also one of the feelings she had felt then. She thought it was odd to be receiving that phone call out of the blue, especially when they had rarely done so. Thankfully it wasn't an emergency, or anything in her list of fears. It had however, surprised her how she hadn't ever considered the possibility of something of this magnitude. 

Sakura was busy studying in university when her dad had stayed over in Korea for a supposedly ‘vacation’. Who would've guessed that instead of bringing home a souvenir, he had instead decided to stay over in that foreign country and marry someone? He had brought Sakura a family, something out of the norm for her especially since she had long accepted that she was the one and only child. Somehow, suddenly she had another mother and a younger step-sister. And to top it off, they’re Korean. It was an interracial marriage, one that was disagreed by most of her extended family members, unblessed. Therefore due to multiple rejections, the wedding ceremony was held back in Korea where it was said to be more welcoming. 

However Sakura knew better from the looks given by the guests and relatives alike. All the side glances and whispers did not go unnoticed. They did not like the Japanese at all.

“They only want the money,” one person had said.

“Or maybe the permanent residency,” another had chimed in.

Worse was that the criticism were said in Japanese, as if it was deliberate and they wanted Sakura to hear them. And she did, she took the bait.

Sakura was about to defend the honor of her _otou-san_ , to scream ‘it was love, is that so hard to understand?’ when she hesitated. They had sounded so convinced of it that even she wasn't even sure of it herself. But luckily the sudden presence of the step-sister stopped her in the tracks. 

“Sis?” Wonyoung had called out. 

It took Sakura a few seconds to register that she was the one being called. She wasn't used to it yet, to be called sister by someone, to have a sibling, it was all foreign for her. And she wasn't ready to accept it all yet, so she stared at the young girl before her, confusion written on both of their faces. The girl must've thought Sakura isn't responding due to their language barrier so she repeated herself once more, calling her by ‘ _Onee-san_ ’ instead of ‘ _Unnie’_. Little did Wonyoung know that Sakura had taken up self-studying Korean just to prepare herself for that day so she had fully understood the most basic words. And yet she took her time to respond, giving a slight smile before proceeding to say the first thing that had crossed her mind when they met. “You're a very beautiful sister.” 

Wonyoung was caught off guard by the sudden praise and she quickly dismissed herself by mumbling something about having to be somewhere else. Sakura watched her dear step-sister made her way toward the side of the hall, talking with people who could be twice her age. She was bewildered the longer she had thought of it. Who would've guessed that the girl is barely fourteen, her appearance doesn't match with age. And yet Sakura was honest with her compliment, how she had thought Wonyoung to be beautiful. Gorgeous enough that her attention did not left her step-sister, not until the groom and bride appeared to greet the guests that had came to the wedding. 

Even after Sakura still remembered Wonyoung’s long limbs, the youthful face and model-like figure. 

The second time they had met however was in the most unfortunate circumstances that could ever befall on the two step-siblings. Sakura rushed herself back to Korea in the middle of her internship period immediately after she received the news. With a single luggage bag in one hand, she made way to the house her family had lived in the middle of Seoul. There she came face to face with a crying Wonyoung. There was no one else inside their home, just the young girl and the sight broke Sakura’s heart. 

How the tall girl had finally looked her age, curled up small and fragile on the living room’s sofa. Her body displayed the devastation she was feeling, the desperation, the sadness. Wonyoung’s tears came down harder when she saw Sakura opening up the door and wordlessly they hugged each other like it was the most natural thing ever, as if they weren't step sisters who had just known each other’s existence a year ago. Possibly what had that moment felt ironic was that Wonyoung hadn’t seen nor talked to Sakura much throughout that period of time and here they were, enveloped in each other’s arms.

“Sakura _unnie_ ,” the younger girl whined. She tried to say something else but there was nothing but sobs that had came out. But Sakura knew. She understood what Wonyoung was feeling for she too had lost her reason to live that previous fateful night. How cruel it was for their parents to be taken away before they could even be reunited as a family once more. How unfair, Sakura had thought, when her adult life was just starting but now there was no one to guide her through it all. 

She let out a small sigh, patting her step-sister's back tenderly as her mind brutally brought her back to the memory when she was first notified of their parent’s perish. 

It was an accident they said through the international phone call. The policeman wasn't all that sympathetic in his way of conveying the news. He wasn't beating around the bush, nor had he offered a cushion to soften the blow. It was straight away "I'm sorry but Mr. and Mrs. Miyawaki did not survive the car accident."

She managed to croak out 'what?' but the next sentence delivered had crushed her to a complete silence. 

"The other car was driving under the influence. Your parents were trying to avoid that incoming vehicle when-,”

Her ears started ringing, making the world quiet, devoid of any sound. Sakura could barely remember what happened then, she wasn't sure how the call ended for she was too numb by the sudden news. All she was sure of was that she was unable to sleep the whole night. She kept tossing and turning in the pitch black darkness .

Sakura doesn't even know how she managed to book the first flight to Korea and packed her necessities into a luggage bag. But as soon as the dawn peeked, someone came over to pick her up and sent her to the airport. 

Someone? Sakura asked herself. She couldn't remember if it was a single person or multiple persons. Could be one or a group of her friends. It had felt as if she went on autopilot as she made her way back to Korea. Everything was a blur right until she opened that door. 

As soon as she saw her young step-sister, her maternal instinct kicked in and Sakura who had never known how to care for someone else other than her father took up the responsibility right away. Carefully she held the younger girl in her arms but the hold by Wonyoung wasn't as gentle. It was needy, desperate and full of sorrow. 

Sakura couldn't help but to shed tears of her own as her step-sister’s cries escalated to wails before slowly dying to an out-of-breath sobs. It broke her heart but she has to be strong for the sake of them both. She has to be the one in control of herself and her feelings for Wonyoung has no one else from then on. With that in mind, Sakura then promised herself to never let her tears be seen by the young girl. She should be someone to be depended on, she is the older sister after all.

"I'm glad you're here," was the last thing Wonyoung had whispered before she slumped tired in Sakura's embrace. Then they both sat in silence. 

The longer they’re together, the more comfortable it was. And it had felt warm.

It surprises Sakura too for until that moment, she had never known or expected that her small arms could be someone's pillar of strength.

Without delay, the funeral proceeded the next day with a couple of their next of kin present. No one from _otou-san_ 's family had came but a few of her _okaa-san_ ’s siblings showed up. Sakura was all numb when people offered her condolences but she could barely hold her tears in when she saw the familiar faces.

Even though it wasn't the first time that she had to go through the experience of losing a parent, she was still close to losing herself from the devastation the second time around. 

However she managed to hold it all in as she thought of the younger girl who had been by her side the whole time. Sakura knew how devastating it must be for someone that young. And yet Wonyoung showed no sign of losing composure in public. She stood still, silently, face devoid of any emotion. But Sakura knew the truth. She noticed how at times the younger girl would stifle a sob or had pretended to be coughing when she was actually wiping her tears. In those moments Sakura would reach out toward her step-sister's back and patted her tenderly.

She understand. The emotional turmoil experienced by the young teenager would be brutal. Sakura of all people remembered how horrible it had felt to be deprived of the motherly love. And yet she thought she was still luckier than Wonyoung. She at the very least still had her _otou-san_ then. And even though the old man couldn’t replace and took up the role of _okaa-san_ perfectly, she knew he did all that he could in raising her.

Mayhaps now it was Sakura’s turn to do the same for Wonyoung. She may not be the enough of a substitute but she vowed to do her best just like he did.

Sakura's eyes stung the worst during the cremation process. Even so, with her foot firmly planted on the ground, she held the soft and cold hand of her step-sister the whole time. Wonyoung did not cry then, and she never shed a single tear after. But the younger girl's dreadful wailing and sobbing the night before were painfully ingrained in Sakura's mind. 

Both the memorial service and the cremation's arrangements were made by the families of Sakura’s stepmother. However their help and support ended as soon as those responsibilities were over. Their true nature came out after and they refused to have anything to do with the two orphans. Sakura knew right away that it had something to do with her being a legal adult and therefore had the rights with the inheritance from her parents. Plus with her being a Japanese, trying to fool her was too much of a task.

Sakura shuddered a little at the thought that if Wonyoung was to be left alone, she would've been taken advantage of. Mauled by the greedy wolves that are blinded by money.

And so she was glad she was there to protect the young girl from the harsh world of the adults. It was sad and they had also received unfair treatment but she couldn't blame the adults. Instead, she was slightly thankful. At the very least the adults didn't take action on their intention, they helped and now they're simply letting go of the two 'burdens'. 

"Are we going to live in japan now?" Wonyoung had asked the night of the cremation. She had her arms wrapped around Sakura's body rather possessively, as if she was a baby when the two of them laid down on the bed that the younger one owned. Wonyoung had refused to sleep alone and Sakura somehow sensed it when she saw her step-sister pacing back and forth in front of the guest room. It was endearing and heartbreaking at the same time. She knew that her step-sister probably wouldn't want to be alone especially since now they only had each other. Without another word, Sakura held onto the younger girl's hand and led them to Wonyoung's room. 

"Let me sleep with you tonight," she had said in her broken korean which was barely understandable due to her heavily accented pronunciation. And yet her step-sister's puffy face from the result of too much crying lit up momentarily in agreement. 

They had been lying down wordlessly in the dark trying to get some shut eye when Wonyoung asked the question out of nowhere. 

Sakura paused for a moment before taking out her phone and typed the words she had heard into a translation app. However it had yielded no result so she cluelessly turned toward Wonyoung who was watching the whole action she had done. The younger girl smiled wearily.

"I was asking if we're going to live here. Or will we go to Japan…" 

Wonyoung's words trailed off as she took the phone away from her step-sister and typed the correct words into the app. As she gave it back, the teenager mumbled something under her breath that Sakura couldn't hear nor understand. Even so she felt as if she knew what it was. 

_'Or will you be leaving me alone?'_

Despite their size difference with the younger one being much taller, Sakura can still feel the age gap between them, how childlike her step-sister actually is. With that in mind, she patted Wonyoung's head softly, assuring that even if push comes to shove, leaving her alone wasn't an option. 

"I am and will always be here with you."


	2. The Younger One

Aside from the fact that Sakura lived in Japan and was in the midst of completing her studies - which Wonyoung had heard from their parents briefly mentioning it during dinner once - she did not know anything about her step-sister. No, it wasn't because she wasn’t interested, she was. In fact she was not only curious, she’s also concerned about Sakura’s well-being, eavesdropping whenever the name was mentioned. Despite doing so, she felt as if she had only scratched the surface of the enigma.

Wonyoung was definitely intrigued with her beautiful and older step-sister. 

Sakura who shares the name of a flower had piqued her interest from the first time Wonyoung had learned of her existence. And it wasn’t a secret that she had really wanted to be closer with the Japanese. However whenever opportunities for them to get to know each other better arise, from being alone in the living room to talking on the phone, she had never once taken it. 

She was shy. And to her it was ridiculous. 

Wonyoung was her class’ representative for two years in a row. She had even once made into the cheerleader team at thirteen years old, which she rejected because her friend didn’t make it in, but to top it off she’s also the school’s debate team’s newest member. Therefore by logic and examples, she couldn't be shy. It wasn't in her nature to, it wasn’t one of her personality trait nor was it something that’s in her life’s dictionary.

Hence her, Jang Wonyoung being shy doesn't make any sense. 

And yet why does it when _otou_ -san asked if Wonyoung wanted to speak with her step-sister over the phone, she had always answered no? 

There were only a couple of times where they did end up talking but those little moments were brief. Awkward. Like the time when she had to answer the phone because _otou_ -san was nowhere in the proximity, presumably throwing out the garbage.

“It’s Wonnie,” she answered and Sakura's response came delayed. 

“Hello Wonyoung,”

“ _Unnie_ , how are you?”

“I’m alright, a little busy. How was school?”

“I did well,” she answered, noticing how dry her mouth had suddenly felt.

“That’s good,”

“Yeah." Wonyoung hummed a short ' _uhhh_ ' before continuing the conversation. " _Unnie_ , have you eaten?”

A light chuckle was heard before Sakura answered with ‘ _uhuh_ ’. The question must’ve caught her off-guard. That was good, Wonyoung thought. She made her step-sister smile.

“I just ate some _omurice_. Have you eaten Wonyoung?”

“I did. We did. _App_ \- _Otou_ -san brought us _jajangmyeon_ ,” she answered, switching between _appa_ and _otou_ -san with a millisecond pause. Wonyoung wasn't sure why she did it but calling the man _appa_ felt foreign. She wasn't used to it and she didn't plan on making it familiar yet. 

“That sounds good.”

“Yeah, it was.”

Although the conversation was smooth, to her it was an excruciating one minute. There was something uncomfortable about trying to make things work. Not to mention she wasn't sure if her step-sister had wanted to have small talk with her at that moment. Even she felt as if she was forcing herself to.

Sakura’s korean was getting slightly understandable, Wonyoung noticed and she appreciated that her step-sister had tried. She too had been learning japanese on her own, hoping one day it’ll help smoothen their conversation. However seeing how uncomfortable they were talking to each other, Wonyoung wasn't sure when that day would be. Thankfully the awkward moment over the phone did not last long, saved by Sakura’s request to speak to their _omma_. A sigh of relief escaped her lips.

There was something about her older step-sister which made Wonyoung timid all of a sudden. Sakura’s quiet and distant demeanor definitely did not help in making the two get closer. It had felt as if there was an invisible barrier between them, a wall so high that neither could go through - or it could be that neither wanted to go through it in the first place, Wonyoung assumed, dejected by her own thought. 

To her Sakura was nice and courteous, but it felt like she did nothing more. 

As time passed their relationship remained stagnant, stuck in being practically kind-of-strangers with the title step-sisters by status and on papers. 

When Wonyoung heard the news that their parents had passed away in an accident, she was devastated with her loss first. The family that she blissfully had was snatched away from her far too soon. 

It tortured Wonyoung to think that she had it all but that happiness only lasted for a year. One year of finally having a father who cares about her, a mother who dotes on her and an older sister whom she adores, it was just a single year together, slightly a little more than 365 days. The period of time sounded a lot but compared to her fifteen years of life, it wasn’t long at all. 

Next came the crushing realisation that her beloved _omma_ wouldn't be there to baby her, to cook her favourite food and to talk to her about school or anything trivial. Her strong _omma_ who had raised her single-handedly for fifteen years, the very same woman who juggled between business and Wonyong’s school’s activities.... was gone.

Forever. 

Worse, Wonyoung had only met the man she had thought as _otou_ -san for a year but she was saddened when she thought how he who had always spoken softly and gently as if they were blood-related wouldn’t be there for her any longer. He had treated Wonyoung as if she was his own daughter from the start, listened to her whimsical stories and wants. 

The man did his part. He was her father and yet Wonyoung had never called him as one. She was too proud, too skeptical and it was her own ego which had sunk the regret deep into the heart.

Her parents were supposed to watch her grow old, hitting every milestone of her life with them cheering her on. They could be scolding her over her future choices too, she wouldn't mind that. But - 

They weren’t there any longer. 

The fact that they wouldn't be there to witness the big moments of her life had hit the hardest. She had not even graduated high school. 

She was still very young and had not experienced much.

As her thoughts went all over the place, Wonyoung cried and she finally remembered Sakura.

The two of them weren't close to begin with and the thought that her step-sister would reject her had terrified Wonyoung. What are the chances? she asked herself. Reeling back her memories with Sakura, Wonyoung remembered how awkward the two of them were, how distant her step-sister had been and how high the possibility that Sakura wouldn’t want anything to do with her any longer. 

The realisation that she could be left alone in the world was unbearable, crushing her whole. Wonyoung started to hit her chest, hoping to alleviate the pain where her heart is, where she felt like it was squeezed out brutally. But it hadn't worked and the agonising grief was still there. Defeated, she curled herself up in agony.

Wonyoung couldn’t do anything but to cry harder to the point of suffocation, gasping for air, unable to accept the cruel harsh reality. It was painful. And everything was unbearable. 

As she sobbed uncontrollably, it was then that Wonyoung heard the door to her home clicked open. With it a familiar figure appeared. 

Wide eyed, cheeks tear stained, face flushed and was breathing hard as if she had just sprinted all the way from Japan, the person standing in front of her was the step-sister. 

Sakura.

“Wonyoung.”

She wasn’t all alone after all.

And she refused to be after.

**

“Hungry?”

Wonyoung groaned in response. Someone was talking to her and the voice sounded so gentle that she started questioning if it was real, that if she had heard it right or if she was still dreaming. She rubbed her heavy eyes.

“I made breakfast,” was said after and without looking Wonyoung immediately knew who it was. The heavily accented korean and the low voice was unmistakably her step-sister’s. It felt comforting. 

Wonyoung turned around and saw the older girl standing under the door frame. Her step-sister was leaning back, tipping her head slightly to the side - a questioning gesture - when their eyes met. There was weariness in Sakura’s face, the sadness and lethargy showing had made her look slightly older than Wonyoung remembered. 

Despite the warm smile that was shown, her step-sister had her eyebrows slightly creased as if she was in pain. She could be holding it in, Wonyoung thought, feeling a little guilty for depending on Sakura for emotional support. But who else can she turn to? They’re both experiencing the same ordeal, the same pain and the same loss. Of all the people in the world, Sakura would be the only person who understands her at that moment. 

She needed her. And Wonyoung hoped her step-sister shared the same sentiment. She hopes Sakura needed her as well.

“Good morning, _unnie_ ,” she greeted. Wonyoung was still sleepy and tired, her body was aching but she rolled out of bed and followed the older girl to the kitchen. The thought crossed her mind all of the sudden, she did not notice the lack of the other person when she woke up. Wonyoung wondered if they had really slept on the same bed last night. When did Sakura-unnie leave the bed? How early had her step-sister awoken to have the time to make breakfast? None of the questions are ones she could answer without asking so she kept silent.

Wonyoung was grateful enough Sakura had asked to sleep together, she was scared of crying the whole night. Luckily she was too tired that she had slept right away, hugging her step-sister scrawny body. She didn't want to admit it at the time but a part of her had imagined Sakura to disappear and leave when morning came so her hold onto the older girl had tightened.

The first thing Wonyoung noticed when the two of them stepped into the kitchen was the smell of something delicious. As if on cue, her stomach started growling and even though she couldn't see Sakura’s expression then, Wonyoung thought she heard her step-sister chuckling. It was a bit embarrassing. 

What greeted her was a stack of pancakes on the dining table. Next to the plates which had been set for them both were two cups of what seemed to be hot chocolate. She was delighted with the meal but as soon as Wonyoung sat down, she remembered how there would usually be three plates on the table. Under normal circumstances, it should be four of them, because they are a family of four but -

“Hey, wash your hands first,” Sakura’s order broke her thoughts. Wonyoung was thankful for that, enough that she did what was told right away. She sat down after and started digging in. 

The food tasted bland and she wasn't sure if it was because Sakura had forgotten salt and sugar when she made them or if it was because she was crying as she ate. She stifled a sob. But it was followed by an uncontrollable trembling of her lips. Wonyoung couldn't hold her tears of grief that were threatening to fall so down they escaped, trickling on her cheeks. 

It was weird, she thought. She figured that since she had cried her whole heart out during the previous days, realistically she shouldn’t have any tears left. Her tear glands were supposed to be dry but they weren't. 

Wonyoung also thought she's tired of crying, she had enough and that she shouldn't worry her parents who could be watching from above but she couldn’t stop. The more she convinced herself, the heavier her heart sank and at one point it had felt like something snapped. Right away the streams of tears flowed down like a broken dam. How can she ever convince anyone that she's gonna be alright?

And yet despite her cries, Wonyoung stuffed herself in anyway, forcing to eat bite after bite in between sobs. She doesn’t remember when she had last eaten something and her body had given her plenty of signs that went unheeded. But she knew even though she doesn’t really have the appetite, she needed that fuel for her body. She needed the strength to go on because what other choice does she have?

“I’m a strong girl,” Wonyoung whispered to herself before continuing chewing.

And instead of comforting her step-sister, Sakura served another pancake onto Wonyoung’s plate. Wordlessly the two of them ate in silence, with only the younger one’s sobs and whimpers occasionally heard. When their plates were finally empty and their stomachs full, it was then Sakura cleared her throat, gaining the attention of her still crying step-sister.

“I need to go back to Japan,” she said. Then realising the gravity of the wrong choice of word, Sakura repeated herself once more, omitting I and alternatively had said “We need to go back to Japan.”


	3. Kagoshima

The first time Wonyoung had stepped foot in Japan was two week after the funeral. She had never travelled that far before, the furthest was the vacation she had with _omma_ to _Jeju_ -do. 

It was autumn then, trees were slightly yellow-brownish, showing a gorgeous view of the season on the island and it was paired with the refreshing salty sea breeze. _Jeju_ was this beautiful island filled with thousands of beautiful memories of just them both, her being babied by _omma_ and the two of them having good food as they took pictures of each other. 

Therefore it had stumped Wonyoung a little when she realised her first trip to Japan wasn’t as pleasant. It was in the middle of winter and both Wonyoung and Sakura had worn thick padded long jackets, waddling their way from the stop where the taxi had dropped them off, to where their second home is. The walk wasn’t far but it had been snowing that day, thus making the already snowy ground a lot harder to go through. Wonyoung had to pull her legs up higher and in order to do so, she needed to exert a little more energy compared to walking normally. Worse was that they were also carrying one luggage bag and a backpack each. She was struggling herself and despite looking effortless, Wonyoung knew Sakura wasn’t doing any better either. But on the flipside, she was also a little satisfied with the crunching sound of her boots in the snow. 

“They’ll shovel the walkway once a day, in the early morning,” Sakura had said under her breath, offering information that Wonyoung did not ask - but one she knew would be useful. Carrying the luggage bag with both of their hands, the two step-siblings had said nothing after, eyes glued to the front as they made their way home, the house where her step-sister had lived alone all these while as their _otou_ - _san_ travelled across Korea and stayed over. 

Tired was an understatement, they were both exhausted from the trip. The non-activity as they waited for their connecting flight which had a layover in Haneda airport had Wonyoung excited at first but she was bored barely after an hour of exploring. She had walked through almost every nook and cranny (that wasn't somewhere unauthorised) of the airport but the time hadn't passed quick enough. It wasn't a large building in the first place and there were a couple of shops open - most of them served food - so Wonyoung had herself back to sitting and waiting not long after. However she was growing restless. There was no way she could sit still and scroll through her twitter feed either. But seeing how she really had nothing to do with no other choice, Wonyoung quietly people-watches from where she was sitting. There were a lot of foreign faces, travelers around them and they were all busy with something. Some were whispering, others weren't as considerate as they spoke in a boisterous voice in an unknown language. However what caught her eyes most were families and it had sunk her heart low that she had felt almost nauseous. Their happy faces had seemed to be mocking her loss and she realised how wrong it was to think that way. And yet she was envious of it, of a happy family on a trip together, filled with joy, each and every one of them are in a bliss, not knowing how death could be creeping up around the corner. That was what had happened to her. It did not occur to her that she could experience loss, not that soon. Wonyoung had also felt regrets, sickening pain of asking herself the 'what if's. What if she was kinder to _omma_? What if she had called _otou-san_ dad? What if she had said yes to join her parents to the store that night? What if - 

Sakura. 

Wonyoung’s train of thoughts stopped when she realised her step-sister who had been sitting next to her had suddenly rested her head on her shoulder. It was not a conscious move as the older one was actually sleeping. Her eyes were closed for a while, Wonyoung had noticed, but when Sakura was that close she could not help but to realise how slow her step-sister's breaths were. They were calm, shallow. Serene. 

Wonyoung was thankful for the distraction. She had seen Sakura sleeping both on the flight and as they were waiting. She also knew that her step-sister was desperately trying to fight off the drowsiness with the way Sakura had been making body stretches once in a while. Her step-sister failed however and Wonyoung thought she should do her part this once - being the one awake and aware for their connecting flight - especially when she knew Sakura had been busy the past couple of days. Her step-sister had been getting and finalising the arrangements for their trip the whole week including ensuring their ride to the airport was going to arrive on time. Even on the day itself Sakura had been up in the crack of dawn. She had been talking to someone over the phone in full Japanese all night and the conversation had seemed to be continuing in the early morning though Wonyoung does not know who it was and they were talking about. It had sounded important however, as if she was getting help and instructions from the other person on the line. 

Wonyoung wanted to help, that dawn she had been awoken by the noise her step-sister had been making. Confused, she watched Sakura paced back and forth between the bedroom and the living room, holding files and at times random objects before packing the last minute items into their separate luggage bags. But Wonyoung didn't know what needed to be done and when she had asked what Sakura was up to, her step-sister answered “it’s alright, get back to sleep Wonyoung.”

So she did what was told. 

A couple of hours later Wonyoung finally woke up (again) by slight pats on her shoulder and they both left the house after getting ready. It was supposed to be a short trip and they were planning to go back home after a couple of days but Wonyoung felt her stomach drop as they leave. The feeling had dug deep, sinking her inner lump of a muscle lower and lower until she felt like throwing up. She was nervous. Terrified. Of what, she doesn’t know.

The trip Wonyoung took with _omma_ years ago had them taking ferries and trains, but this time she had to fly internationally, with a passport which she had to rush to make, so everything felt new. Wonyoung was aware that she did not know anything about the place they’re going and she had never done research on where her step-sister had lived in Japan. All she remembered was that it was a place called Kagoshima.

“Where’s that?” She asked _otou-san_ once.

“It’s on the island of Kyushu,” he answered, short.

Wonyoung hummed in response, not quite sure where either of the places mentioned are. Kagoshima and Kyushu sounds so foreign, she only knows Tokyo, the capital city of Japan and then there was Osaka for that was what she had heard her friends talk about once, where the Universal Studios Japan is at. But Kagoshima? That doesn't ring any bell.

The old man smiled, pulling the cup of coffee he was holding closer to his lips. However he paused before drinking, letting out a well-known fact hoping it’ll spark some deep buried knowledge in her young step-daughter.

“There's an active volcano called Sakurajima in Kagoshima,”

“Sakurajima?” Wonyoung repeated the word. “Ah!” She gasped lightly, thinking as if she had just made a discovery, a connection and she was eager to show she noticed. “Did _onee-san_ was named Sakura because of that volcano? Ehh… that doesn’t sound nice. I wouldn’t want to be named over a lava spewing mountain,”

 _Otou-san_ let out a roaring laughter then, surprising Wonyoung who almost jumped. She was confused. Nothing she had said was funny for it was the truth. Wonyoung had always thought her step-sister was named after the cherry blossom so it saddened her that Sakura was a volcano. An active one at that too!

“That may have been one of the factors,” _otou-san_ confessed after his laughter died down. He cleared his throat and continued. “But when your _onee-chan_ was born, her skin was bright pink. She was so small too, a tiny little girl new to this world but she was so calm even then. That made us confused. And we also panicked a little but every part of her reminded us of cherry blossoms... Hence Sakura.” 

Wonyoung had responded with nothing. Her assumption was right and she thought the name had fit. Sakura is after all as beautiful as the flower itself.

Latching herself onto the one whose name was inspired by cherry blossom was a routine Wonyoung had developed since the unfortunate accident. And since she was stepping into a foreign land, her hold onto her step-sister jacket had unconsciously gotten tighter. She hadn't noticed that however but Sakura did. The older one quietly offered her hand and Wonyoung held it without hesitation. Sakura knew her step-sister was nervous before but the firm hold on her hand relaxed soon after, showing that the little gesture did help.

It was true, as for then after Wonyoung had felt a lot calmer knowing she would be alright as long as her _onee-chan_ is there. She knew Sakura would never leave her alone.

Despite the gripping sadness that comes and goes, she had felt slightly excited with the change of the environment. At the very least she wouldn't be too engrossed in her grief when she was fascinated by what Japan has to offer. Even if it was winter. Even if it was too freezing cold to walk out anywhere outside.

Wonyoung had still cried from time to time because she missed her parents but it was exactly as Sakura had told her once, one she can’t seem to forget, “the feelings come and go.”

“Huh?” The sentences had caught her off guard then that she could barely let out that one word. Wonyoung looked up from her half eaten dinner - bulgogi with fried kimchi - with tears welling in her eyes, obstructing her view. Sakura was leaning against the kitchen counter, one hand resting on the top and another was holding a coffee mug. Her step-sister wasn't looking at Wonyoung directly, as if she was trying to save her from the embarrassment of being caught crying but it was obvious she knew what was going on. Wonyoung was in her feelings, so much that she froze in her spot because the food she was eating had reminded her of _omma_.

“It’s okay. You can cry if you’re sad,” said Sakura. Then she continued, softly, “No, maybe you should cry when you’re sad.”

With the tears in her eyes and the lump of sadness still stuck in her throat, Wonyoung was barely able to speak then. She pathetically croaked out a raspy ‘No.’ but that seemed like a wrong answer, looking at how her step-sister had finally met her glassy eyes. It took Sakura a short minute of looking at her phone - probably translating something - before clearing her throat to speak. 

“The grief and the heartache, those feelings are real. But they come and go,” Sakura said, re-phrasing her initial sentence. “They come and go like a wave. So you just have to ride it out. Feel what you feel, you cry, be happy, or get angry. They are all valid. They’re feelings.”

Sakura hadn’t said anything after, standing around like she has business in the kitchen when she really doesn't. But Wonyoung was thankful for that, for the quiet companion, even if it was embarrassing. That day she had cried so much that her bulgogi had tasted slightly salty, she assumed it was the tears dripping down onto her food once more - like a waterfall, endless streams of water. 

The night when the pair had finally arrived at their home in Kagoshima, Japan, both Sakura and Wonyoung had fallen asleep without having dinner. They were exhausted, throwing aside every bag and luggage before Sakura showed the rooms Wonyoung was able to use. However they both knew there wasn't any point to that as the younger one would want to sleep together. And she did slid herself onto Sakura’s queen sized bed exactly a couple of minutes after the older one fell asleep with her outdoor clothes on, sans the padded long jacket. Wonyoung however had enough energy to clean up and change her clothes but she still doesn't mind sticking close to her step-sister.

When the next day arrived, she woke up next to an empty spot and like _deja-vu_ , or probably a routine, a voice greeted Wonyoung softly, with so much gentleness that she had hoped it was omma. Instead it was Sakura, again leaning under the door frame like usual. But the difference was glaringly obvious, they were in an unfamiliar room. Even so the sight of her step-sister with the same pose with her hair tousled as if she had just woken up minutes ago was comforting. Added with a warm smile, Wonyoung felt home. 

“It’s not much but I made breakfast,” said the older step-sister, gesturing toward the kitchen with her thumb. “I have to do some things today so, uh, um… My friends will come over,”

Sakura paused, pulling her phone out and typing something before looking back to Wonyoung, “I invited two friends over.” 

Wonyoung nodded, unsure of what to feel hearing the news first thing in the morning. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do in Japan anyway - aside from sticking herself close to Sakura - so it's not like she does have any choice. The older girl had painstakingly explained what she had to do in her version of muddled Korean before switching to typing everything on her phone for an app to translate. It was a lot and Wonyoung did not know even half of it, they all sounded so complicated, so adult-business-like so she simply agreed, confident that whatever Sakura had to do was for the sake of them both.

The meal they had that morning was an English breakfast, an egg and sausage, something her step-sister mentioned as “all she could do from the left-over ingredients from the fridge.”

And yet they had tasted good as expected and it had made Wonyoung happy. 

The two of them took showers separately afterwards and finally dragged their bags and luggage toward their room to start on the unpacking. Wonyoung was halfway through sorting out her clothes when the doorbell rang and she knew that Sakura’s friends had come. She was nervous about it, meeting new people but she also knew she was good at making friends herself, even if they’re older, so this wouldn't be too hard… Probably?

When the door was opened, Wonyoung who thought Sakura would be hugged by her friends was in for a surprise. They did not hug each other. Instead, her step-sister and her friends had shook each other’s hands as if they’re in a business meeting. Sakura had invited the pair inside and it was then that Wonyoung realised something adorable about the situation. Her thought could also be considered rude, but it was the truth and as if they too were thinking of the same thing, her step-sister’s friends had shifted uneasily in their spot, looking at each other nervously.

“This is Wonyoung,” said Sakura before switching to Korean when she addressed her friends to her step-sister. “Wonyoung, these are my friends, Nako and Hitomi,”

Wonyoung could barely stifle her laughter in that moment that she ended with a joyful smile. Sakura’s friends are tiny! 

“Hello, nice to meet you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wonder if people could understand the timeline since i go back and forth so often, showing snippets of the past without any warning or mentioning it was flashback or happening in that current time.. is it confusing?


	4. Nako and Hitomi

It took Sakura a full minute to register that someone was talking to her. She thought it was a dream, or a figment of her imagination, the voice after all had sounded muffled, as if it had come from a faraway place. The question too was something out of the norm, straightforward and uncomfortably blunt, thus it would not be a reach if it was Sakura’s own consciousness that was questioning herself, she thought. But the realisation hit her after; the voice had sounded familiar. She knew who it belonged to. 

“Are you sad?”

When another question was asked, not in an echo - Sakura noticed the slight change of tone, the word sad was said in almost a whisper - it was then that she finally figured it really was not a dream.

Someone was talking to her.

The question, albeit a strange one, was not something she had thought and asked herself before.

‘Am I sad?’ she mused. 

Following the voice's direction and turning to look at her side, Sakura’s eyes landed on a chestnut haired girl sitting an arm’s length away, looking concerned. Despite the furrow of the brows and the slight frown, the girl, Nako, was munching on something and it did not take Sakura much critical thinking to know what her life-long childhood friend was eating. She could easily spot an opened pack of strawberry flavoured pepero in her hand. 

“Well?” Nako raised an eyebrow, seemingly persistent in getting Sakura to answer. There was a slight hesitation in her face after, as if she had regretted asking, or probably debating on repeating the question. But only silence followed.

And yet Sakura found herself tongue-tied. It was a simple question, hell, she could also answer it with a straightforward yes or no. Even so, why couldn’t she? Mulling it over in the short silence that neither she nor Nako had said a single word, Sakura came to the conclusion that when it comes to feelings there exists a grey area, one she couldn't even fathom. One she couldn’t describe with words, not because she was lacking vocabulary but because there's nothing that can come close to everything that was brewing inside her.

Yes, she was sad and even though she knew she had told herself not to cry in front of her step-sister, Sakura was bothered to realise she was not able to shed a single tear after. Not when she’s alone, not even when the memories of _otou-san_ and occasionally _okaa-san_ slammed into her out of nowhere.

The recollection, the thoughts, they were like a tsunami, quiet and still, appearing without much warning.

Sakura could be doing the dishes, or watching the television, or doing nothing and just be trying to get some sleep. However the next thing she knew was the sudden recession of water level on the shore and then _bam, whoosh_ \- whatever the sound the waves made as they crashed onto the land - the tsunami hit and Sakura was caught in the tide, flapping around to keep herself afloat and not drown in her own feelings.

She thought she would cry then because it had hurt so much that it was intolerable. Her chest and heart had ached, they had throbbed too, erratically beating, struggling to keep her whole being alive as if someone had ripped her whole insides apart. But even through it all, she was too numb that nothing came out of her, not a tear, and not even a sob. There was just pain, intense pain that she gasped for air in trying to breathe. 

Again and again she gone through it, the panic attacks, the turmoil of the heart, along with the internal suffering of the ‘what if’s’. What if she had stopped _otou-san_ from going over? What if she had followed over? What if she had told them to stay home that night?

What if she had stayed over in Korea with _otou-san?_

No.

  
No, that was not possible. Sakura had convince herself of that multiple times before. She was stuck in Japan due to her studies that nothing can be done about their living arrangements.

Therefore that left her with the sinking regret of not spending more time with _otou-san_ when the old man had asked her to visit often. Sakura remembered what her go-to reasons whenever the questions popped-up, ranging from ‘I’m busy,’ to ‘I have no money,’ and they all sounded like a load of bull. She knew _otou-san_ must've realised it as well, her hesitation on coming ‘home’ to a family she did not quite acknowledge.

Oh, Sakura had long accepted the marriage. She also knew her _omma_ and her precious little step-sister are the kindest human beings there are. They had warmly welcomed her into the small family, tenderly called her as if she was a part of them and so she too had at least given the same respect and courtesy back. Efforts to be friendly herself were made of course, she was not a savage person. To top it off, Sakura had even taken up learning Korean in secret for the sake of easier communication between them.

But that was the extent of it, she thought that was the limit and Sakura doesn’t want to do anything more than what was necessary. 

Deep down in her heart, they- that family is just not hers.

Then- is taking care of Wonyoung who she does not share a single blood with is a form of atonement? For her mistake of not giving more for the family? For her refusal and hundreds excuses of rejection of that family? For her failure to be there for her _otou-san_?

The thought crossed Sakura’s mind multiple times. She did not know the answer to them either. Even when her friends had questioned it over the phone, she pondered over it for a moment before brushing it aside. It wasn't just Nako and Hitomi, there was also Chaeyeon who was her online Korean language teacher who had posed the same question before, although the three of them had worded them differently.

“Is it guilt?” one asked. 

“You don't have to, by law she should be under the care of your aunt, I mean her families’ side,” another had stated.

“As much as I think she’s a wonderful girl, it’ll be better if you can take care of yourself first,” Nako said then, the tinge of worry evident from her voice. She who was usually chirpy and had a higher speaking tone had spoken slowly that day, it was unlike her that Sakura had considered that option for a while. What had complicated the matter was that she was still of Japanese nationality whereas her step-sister is a Korean. She had discussed it with her friends, talked with some government officials, and research was also done to figure the whole process out. Sakura was a little disheartened to know the whole procedure had all sounded so complex, so labyrinthine that it would dampen anyone’s spirit in proceeding with such hassle. 

However in the end she was firm with the decision. By hook or crook, and she’s also willing to fight tooth and nail for it too, Sakura was insistent on being Wonyoung’s legal guardian. 

Returning to Japan was a part of that long process.

There was a clearing of the throat, followed by Nako’s usual cheery voice.

“Earth to Saku- _chan_?”

 _Ah_ , Sakura thought, realising her mind had once again wandered off to some other place, some other time. It had not taken her long to notice that since that unfortunate incident, she had been losing focus often. At times she would zone out, blankly stare onto stationary objects as her thoughts jump from one thing to another, but they were never about the things she should be doing. She wondered if her young step-sister had caught her spacing out but Wonyoung had never mentioned anything. They lived as if things are normal, when nothing is anymore.

“I don’t know” Sakura finally answered after flashing a friendly smile. It wasn’t a lie, she thought, and it was not the whole absolute truth either. She was feeling a mixture of it, sadness, loneliness, desperation, determination, regret, pain, and even questioning her own will to live. All of them were there - inside her at the same time. 

With the answer, Nako took it as an indication that she was welcomed so she scooted closer, taking up the seat right next to Sakura on the three-seater sofa. Wordlessly and briefly, she who was still snacking gestured the box of pepero toward her friend, asking if the other girl had wanted some. But Sakura had responded no by shaking her head. There was a slight shrug and even though no one had said a single thing, they both knew it was a mutual acceptance. An ‘okay, that’s alright’.

Despite sitting next to each other, there was still space between the two, enough for someone else to sit in the middle. However in that moment there was no one else apart from the pair in the house. It had seemed as if the other girl had sat as close and yet as far as she could on purpose, although Sakura does not know why. But it was undeniable that the atmosphere had not felt awkward. She felt it was so simply because they had known each other for so long that there was no need for words to be said, the silence was enough. Sakura had already understood Nako's intention well from her slight actions, or just from her act of being there, coming over when she was needed. She was thankful for the companionship.

As she glanced to the side, Sakura thought back and she was puzzled when she does not remember when was it that she had befriended Nako. There has to be a moment when it had happened, when hands were shook or when 'hi' was said for the first time. And yet Sakura failed to recollect any instance of it happening despite digging deep. It had felt that she had known the other girl all her life, as if she was born and then suddenly they were friends.

That was definitely possible, Sakura thought. She had never questioned it either, they’re always there for each other from day one and they’re also so close to the point of being almost inseparable. And for that the two of them was able to read each other so much better than anyone else could ever be.

When they had met wasn't important, Sakura concluded. Not when the most crucial thing, the base of their relationship was already established and had stood strong come rain or shine. It was understanding. That's the only thing that matters to her. Whatever her feelings are, Nako would know, even when they were not verbalised, even though she had not said anything.

And it was proven true when the other girl did seem to be able to read Sakura’s mind as she suddenly sighed into the silent room.

“That’s alright,” said Nako, picking up another pepero stick before biting onto the flavoury end. “You’re probably too overwhelmed by everything now but Sakura…” 

With a slower voice, her friend muttered without looking, “You’ll be alright.”

Sakura shuddered. 

That had caught her off guard. 

“Saku- _chan_?”

She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. Nako’s. Again, their eyes met but the look on the other girl’s face wasn't calm as before. There was worry, shown by Nako’s creased brows. And her mouth was open too, saying something that Sakura couldn’t hear.

No, that was not it. Sakura couldn't notice it before but it wasn't Nako that was muted, it was her ears that were ringing, buzzing with static noise like the television from the 90’s, blurring her from the world. She was about to panic when Nako suddenly embraced her with both arms, circling her body. 

It was funny, Sakura had thought. The other girl, her friend Nako was tiny and she was also months younger, oftentimes seen by Sakura as someone cute and adorable, like a little sister of her own long before Wonyoung was introduced into her life. However, at that moment it was her that had suddenly became small. In the arms of another person Sakura had felt like a child. 

She heard a whisper, a muttering, and it was repetitive. But it wasn't registered in Sakura’s ears the first time. 

“What?” she asked in her own ragged breath.

“Take a deep breath,” 

And she did what was told. All these while everything had felt like a dream, she was unable to accept a single thing yet, and Sakura did not know when she would be able to. She had thought she was still dreaming but the warm liquid running down her cheek then had made her feel otherwise. They were real. And the lump in her throat grew bigger that not a single sob escaped her lips.

Despite her initial reluctance toward the embrace, she gave in and Nako’s hug became tighter. Sakura had also buried her face on her friend’s shoulder, keeping herself hidden as she struggled with everything that had been building up inside her. With it, the tears seeped into Nako’s shirt and she knew then what the right answer to her friend’s question was.

Yes, she was sad.

And she was also glad someone had asked. 

**

When Wonyoung had returned home with Hitomi an hour after, Sakura had felt a lot better. From both of their faces, it had seemed that the two girls had enjoyed their outing as well. Her step-sister skipped upon entering the house and went toward Sakura right away, talking about her experience going to the tourist areas and then going shopping. That day Sakura learnt something new about her step-sister, that is Wonyoung would talk a lot when she’s excited, mixing up both Korean and Japanese in a stream of words that was barely understandable. Like a bullet train, the younger one rehashed her experience along with some body movements to emphasise what was going on in her story. And Sakura would nod, smile and ask ‘then, what happened?’ in order to get her little sister going. Wonyoung did, she goes on and on, occasionally pausing for breaths as she gave out details of her day.

The two of them did not realise it then but while they were talking, being completely engrossed in their own world, both of Sakura’s friends, Nako and Hitomi had left the house. They figured such thing shouldn’t be interrupted and only left Sakura a short text informing that they went home and would come again some other day. 

Wonyoung was disappointed when she finally noticed that the two guests were not around any longer and that had surprised Sakura a little. When she had first made the decision to invite her friends over, Sakura was worried if her step-sister would be okay with the arrangement. She needed to go to a few government offices and also drop by at the university’s administration office so Sakura figured someone else should show Wonyoung around Kagoshima on her behalf. Hitomi had volunteered, naturally, as expected of her friend. When Sakura second guessed the whole plan, her friend had insisted by saying the little girl would enjoy the outing more than to follow Sakura around to settle her paperwork. 

“But no, she couldn’t speak Japanese well,” she reasoned, still hesitant.

“Hey, I promise your sister will be fine. We have translation apps, remember? And I’ll make sure that she’ll have the best time going around places,”

There was no way Sakura could reject that. Even Nako was nodding her head at the side, agreeing to the plan.

Wonyoung wasn’t as interested at first. She seemed to know right away what Sakura’s friends were there for, and she also knew why she was left alone with this friend, her step-sister had told her why. But still, Wonyoung whined, she would have preferred to follow her step-sister around instead of staying at home or going around places. Alone or with another person, if it's not Sakura herself Wonyoung felt strangely anxious. It had felt as if she needed to be with her step-sister at all times, watch her so she won’t disappear like the little mermaid, turning into bubbles or worse, leave her alone without another word.

And yet in the end Wonyoung agreed, although her heart was heavy with the thought that Sakura did not want her around. Sakura had chuckled lightly when she saw her step-sister looking at her as if she was pleading to follow her instead. Who would've guessed that Wonyoung had disliked the idea at first when she came home all bright having enjoyed herself.

“Here,” said Wonyoung later that night, handing over a thick pink leather book toward Sakura who was sitting on the sofa, watching television. Sakura eyed the item suspiciously, not hiding her surprise but also looking at it while wordlessly questioning why. Her step-sister’s face however remained poker even after Sakura took the item. She held it in her hand before feeling the softness of the cover on her fingers.

“What is this for?” she finally asked. Peering the book open had revealed blank pages after blank pages, it had seemed to be empty, devoid of any scribbles nor even lines to write anything on. Sakura could see her step-sister’s smile became wider when she looked up from the book to face her.

“It's a diary. I got you some colouring pencils and pens too,” 

Despite the younger step-sibling holding out the newly purchased stencils in her hand, the answer she had given did not satisfy Sakura. Instead, her brows creased further. She had given Wonyoung some money before she left; however that was for her step-sister to spend on herself, not for her. Sakura briefly hesitates on accepting.

“But what for? Why?”

“Hitomi-unnie said it’ll be good. I have one too,” Wonyoung answered, showing another book in her hand. It was different from what Sakura was holding, her step-sister’s diary however was bright pink in colour, with pictures of animals on the cover. “She said I might need one. And you too, _unnie_. She said it's for you to write in. So write anything you want, from your feelings to what you had for dinner or the people you like, this is for the words you can’t say out loud,”

Sakura swallowed air. Her other friend knew her well too. Hitomi always does, the girl is sensible and clear headed that Sakura was almost always envious of her. And she was right, writing down her feelings are good for both Wonyoung and especially Sakura herself. Being someone who kept everything inside, what better way is there for her to rearrange her thoughts and reassess her feelings if it wasn't through writing?

For the second time that day, Sakura felt touched by her friends. She was thankful too, for their existence, for their kindheartedness, and she knew the pair would hate it if she were to feel indebted toward them.

Sakura could imagine Nako and Hitomi shrugging their shoulders, brushing what they’ve done as not a big deal. “Anyone would do the same,” was what Nako would’ve said. Hii-chan would probably add in, “And we’d do it again if we have to.”

The thought almost brought tears to her eyes.

“ _Unnie_ ,” Wonyoung suddenly called out. Sakura turned around and saw her step-sister beaming, handing over a pack of stickers. She took it and saw assorted shapes of cats. “You can decorate yours with these. I got you cat stickers because you look like one. And I…” the younger girl paused, rummaging through the paper bag in her other hand before pulling out another pack of stickers. 

“I have bunnies!”

 _God_ , Sakura thought. She would do anything to protect her step-sister.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gave up on googling for the procedures to be a legal guardian in korea when the step-sister is of japan nationality lol and... i do not want to think about it so lets just assume what im going for is possible and its right because this is just fiction ;~;


	5. Diary

Wonyoung had noticed how her step-sister had been pacing back and forth from the living room to the kitchen since morning. She wasn't watching directly but the repetitive action was impossible to miss, especially when Sakura has a lazy walking style, dragging her feet noisily across the mahogany floorboards.

The sound of the shuffling of feet were usually enough for Wonyoung to notice her step-sister’s general whereabouts. However _that_ combined with the restless pacing had made it hard to not be aware of the odd behaviour. Adding mystery to it all was that her step-sister had not said a single word throughout the whole time, as if she hadn't realised that she was being watched. Nor had she shown any recognition to Wonyoung’s presence, even though Sakura had passed the dining room table where the younger girl was sitting at multiple times. And that was right in between of the two places she had walked to and from. 

Wonyoung had thought of letting her step-sister be (the pacings may be annoying her a little and she figured it would stop, maybe eventually because nothing lasts forever) but the longer it was done, the more distracted she had gotten. By the sixth time Sakura had appeared in the young step-sister’s peripheral vision, Wonyoung’s focus was completely stolen. 

She was planning on getting some writings down in her diary that noon but she was unable to due to the distraction. Not that she had made any progress from the start. 

Wonyoung glanced at the mess she had made on the table, the scattering of the many stationeries for writing and decorations before looking at the diary right in front of her. The empty pages stared back, reminding her that it had been some time and yet she hadn’t managed to get a single word in. 

With a small defeated sigh, Wonyoung placed the pen she was holding down and clasped both of her hands together. Something about her step-sister seemed odd and although she did not know why or how she was able to come to that conclusion, the curiosity had gotten to her at last. And so she decided to finally ask.

“ _Unnie_ , what are you doing?”

Sakura stopped in her tracks right away, somewhat startled. Then her step-sister turned her whole body around to face Wonyoung. There was a smile on her face however it did not quite match the mood shown by the rigid posture.

“I was just…'' Sakura answered, letting her word trail off as her eyes darted to the side before meeting her step-sister's curious stare. “Wondering what I should do with _otou_ -san’s things.”

“Oh.”

Wonyoung had thought of various possibilities as the reason of that odd behaviour but that sure wasn't one of it. Of course, she did not even consider going to their _otou_ -san’s room ever since she was told it was right next to Sakura’s. It had not seemed right to go in there without permission, as if it's a breach of privacy, even when the person who the room belonged to is no longer alive. The thought stung Wonyoung’s heart slightly, akin to being pricked by a rose’s thorn.

“Are you going to throw them away?” she asked, to which Sakura answered with a barely audible “no.”

”Give it all away?”

It was another no.

Wonyoung waited, it had seemed that her step-sister wanted to say something but one full minute passed in complete silence. 

“What are you going to do then?” Wonyoung asked again. 

“I don't know…” Sakura shrugged. “I mean… I… yeah… I don’t know. I’m not even sure of anything at this point…” 

She smiled wistfully. Then her eyes caught onto the book and the pens scattered on the table in front of Wonyoung. It was followed with a question, “What are you doing?”

Was it a deflection? Or was it an attempt to change the topic, only Sakura knows. 

Wonyoung was nonetheless glad. She wouldn't know what to say to her step-sister after the revelation either, she does not know what to suggest as well.

How could she, when even Sakura herself who is an adult had seemed conflicted on the matter. She was aware that she may need to make a decision when they returned to Korea, the same complication awaits, she was sure of it but- what would she even do to the things that _omma_ and _otou-san_ had owned? Would she be able to dispose them? Or would keeping the things around hurt her more than discarding them because every single thing would remind her of _omma_? 

She does not know. And because of it she thought she had understood why Sakura had seemed distraught before and had changed the topic. Wonyoung too would rather not think about it all, not yet anyway. 

“I was writing. Kinda. I tried to but nothing came to mind… Have you written in yours?”

Sakura’s face brightened a little.

“Yeah, I did fill up a couple of pages,” she answered. There was pride in her voice, maybe a sense of accomplishment. However it had baffled Wonyoung a little as it was an unexpected answer. She after all had never seen her step-sister write. When did that happen? And most importantly...

“With what?”

Sakura took that as the cue to walk closer and she did, before comfortably took a seat on the chair that was on the opposite side of her step-sister. Picking up one of the stray pens on the table, she then twirled it around effortlessly, making it seem like it was spinning. Wonyoung was in awe. She thought Sakura looked cool doing that, maybe it was one of the charms of an adult.

“With doodles… and poetry... which could also work as song lyrics. What about yours?”

“I haven’t started,” Wonyoung sighed.

Slowly but without hesitation, she lifted the diary up, showing the blank pages devoid of any writings. There was only her name on the cover along with a sticker of a smiling bunny.

“I can’t think of what to write… I know Hitomi- _unnie_ said I can write anything and I told you the same, but when I opened the diary, nothing came to mind. I want it to be pretty, I want to talk about my days and my feelings but I don’t know where… or how to start,”

Sakura tilted her head slightly to the side and with it her hair strands were gracefully swept and tucked behind the ear. Wonyoung had noticed it before but she couldn't help to be mesmerised yet again with her step-sister’s beauty. It was effortless, also natural. Even with one eyebrows raised, even when Sakura was looking confused, she was still dazzling.

“You want it to be pretty?” the older one asked.

And Wonyoung repeated the question’s sentence structure. “Yes, I want it to be pretty.”

“But… Why?”

Wonyoung blinked, looked at her diary and then back toward her step-sister. Instead of answering, she returned the question with another question.

“Can’t I?”

It was Sakura’s turn to pause and wonder. She who had been leaning forward as they talked slowly rest her back on the seat and scratched her cheek in discomfort. Due to the motions Wonyoung couldn't help but to notice the tensing of the jaw, momentary but enough to show that her step-sister was giving their whole conversation a thought. It crossed her mind too that the two of them had almost always talked about the random miscellaneous things, the small talks which she figured weren't Sakura’s strong suit. But Wonyoung was still thankful her step-sister had made an effort to, especially when the house had seemed to be too quiet for her liking.

“You can,” Sakura answered a few silent minutes after. “It's your diary so you can do anything you want with it… But wanting it to look pretty defeats the purpose of having one, isn't it? Because then it’ll be something like work for you and that won't be healing afterwards. As if it’s a homework given by your teacher, one you feel forced to do,”

Wonyoung wasn't sure what to respond to that, she was still mulling it over when Sakura continued, “It shouldn’t be something you work too hard on, writing is supposed to be an outlet and diary shouldn't be seen by anyone else so you don't have to write so prettily. Especially not for you to impress other people. Its only for you. Yourself.”

What her step-sister had said made some sense, not entirely but Wonyoung understood, albeit a little. 

“ _Unnie_ …” 

“Yeah?”

“But still… Can we buy some washi tapes?”

Sakura chuckled and with it her smile widened. “Of course. I think I have a few, but we’ll buy more so you’ll have a collection of it, okay?”

“Okay!” Wonyoung answered enthusiastically.

“Wait I’m going to get them for you,”

Sakura stood up and walked to her room leaving her step-sister alone. But it wasn't long as barely a minute after she reappeared with a bowl full of colourful washi tapes which was held with both hands.

“Here,” the bowl was placed gently on the table, right in front of Wonyoung’s diary.

“There's a lot!” The younger one beamed happily, “they are beautiful too!”

“I know! They were once my prized possessions. I stuck the tapes everywhere I can, making things pretty like the school desk, my textbooks and my locker too,”

The younger girl faked a gasp.

“But isn't that- vandalism? _Unnie_!”

Wonyoung thought she had almost never heard Sakura laugh before, maybe she did but she couldn't remember. But in that moment then, her older sister had burst out laughing, full and it had given her as much joy herself that she joined along. 

Was it extremely funny? _Not really_ , Wonyoung mused. But it was one of the rare moments where she knew Sakura wasn’t faking it, that delight was real, especially when the two of them had just gone through loss and immense grief.

It was one of those times where she thought she was glad that someone was there with her. And Wonyoung was even gladder and also thankful that person turns out to be Sakura.

"Don’t you have friends?" Sakura asked moments after their laughter had died down.

Wonyoung who was fumbling with her various washi tapes on hand had paused and she scrunched her face in response. It does surprise her that her step-sister would ever ask the question. Of course Wonyoung does have friends, it's a no brainer really. She has a lot of acquaintances too that when the dreadful news first broke out her phone notifications went off almost non-stop till the battery drained out.

As for best friends, Wonyoung has two, Yujin and Minju, both as tall as she is. They were longtime friends, lucky enough to go to the same school and they were even luckier to have shared the same classroom. Although now that she was reminded of them, Wonyoung remembered she has yet to respond to the messages she had received back then, she had gotten too overwhelmed with everything.

Since she had been sticking close to Sakura, her phone was more of a decoration, an object she carried everywhere just for the sake of it, but one she did not use for the function it has to offer. Except maybe to translate Korean into Japanese and vice versa whenever difficult words came out.

Wonyoung knows she does need to get to the messages and to get back to her friends eventually, but she was not ready for it yet. That day will come and she will probably be scrolling through everything in silence, thinking what should she reply with, or if she even needs to reply in the first place. And that is all a troublesome matter. 

“I do have friends,” she answered at last. Her eyes weren't meeting Sakura’s but Wonyoung could feel she was being stared at so she pretended to not notice, or care. She continued picking out the assorted washi tapes, looking at each one closely for the design that she liked most.

But the sudden and random question her step-sister posed made her curious. 

“Why?” Wonyoung shoots a question back. Then she remembered something else and decided to ask away. “Will Hitomi- _unnie_ and Nako- _unnie_ come over today too?”

“Ah, no, they’re both occupied,”

Wonyoung knows Sakura had seen how her face fell momentarily when the older one giggled abruptly. “Wow, you love them that much, huh?”

“N- not really,”

It was a lie. Wonyoung had grown to like the pair, even when they had only spent time together for only that one day.

“They’ll come over tomorrow. But oh, Wonyoung,” 

Wonyoung couldn’t help but to look and meet the gaze of her step-sister when her name had been called.

“Talk to your friends, don’t leave them in the dark. Words of consolation may only do so little but it is still something, regardless. For now they may not know exactly what to say or what to do or what you’re feeling but you know you need that support, from the people that matters.”

After that was said, Sakura left the dining area, leaving the younger one alone. It was weird and the advice had caught her off-guard with how random it was. Could it be that Sakura knew she wasn’t answering her texts? But how would that be possible when she had almost never pulled her phone out?

Wordlessly Wonyoung fished the rectangular object out of the pocket of her pants. The screen lit up and she took a deep breath before unlocking the device.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt forget about this, was busy with Genshin impact and watching many shows (sweet home and alice in borderland are pretty awesommmee) :D stay safe


	6. Where Home Is

The step-siblings stay in Kagoshima, Japan wasn’t long. However, it wasn't as short as expected either. What was assumed to be taking only a couple of days was eventually dragged to one full week. As soon as Sakura settled the necessary legal issues over _otou_ -san’s properties and various other issues - signing papers in every government office which she had never expected to take a step in at that age - she immediately brought flight tickets for her and Wonyoung’s return back to Korea. Despite Kagoshima being her hometown and the place she had lived in for the past twenty-two years, Sakura for the first time ever was eager to leave. 

One of the reasons for impatience was that she had enough of adulthood forced onto her, the responsibilities she suddenly had to take up on just because there was no one else eligible to do them. She was tired of being ushered from one place to another, being told to do this and that, all which she had no clue about. 

‘We can’t process this today, you have to go to the registration office first,’

‘The correct procedure was to get this form from the bank,’

‘Sign this paper after you read it. No, not there, right here, this part right here,’

‘Thank you, please leave.’

Sakura would come home with a frown after each trip made and along with it the body aches from going all over the place. Sometimes if she was unlucky enough, they would be accompanied with a splitting headache. She was not only tired, there was built up frustrations in her. No one had explained anything to her. Confused was an understatement. She does not know the steps to be taken, the procedures to be followed and when asked, each one of the government officials had instead ordered her around. Directing instead of teaching, pushing instead of guiding. At the end of the day Sakura had understood not a single thing about what she had done. 

The whole process had almost made her feel like she was a puppet, merely doing things as she was instructed. Whoever the mastermind is, they must’ve been somewhere up there pulling the strings and laughing at her miserable fate. It was laughable how miserable her life turns out. First an orphan, then to be estranged from the rest of the families. Not to mention she now has a teenager in her care.

When everything was over and settled, Sakura was more than relieved. She was glad too, and probably a little ecstatic. But that nagging feeling of wanting to flee had stayed. Her fight or flight mode which was activated from the stress of everything had made Sakura wanting nothing but to run, to depart from the place that has distressed her so. And that would mean leaving quickly for home, to Seoul, Korea.

However what Sakura wasn’t willing to speak much about was that there was another very significant reason for the haste in departure. It was something she had been aware of for a while, one which had become the driving force to get things over and done with as soon as possible. And that reason was that Sakura had noticed her young step-sister Wonyoung was getting restless. 

She understands why. 

Despite the house technically being her young step-sister’s other home, it was still her first time over, in fact it was also Wonyoung’s first time in Japan. Everything was new for the teenager. She wasn’t used to it enough to be comfortable, what more to call the place home. Therefore with it came the glaring differences in various aspects, cultures and food included. There was no way Sakura would miss the way Wonyoung grimaced the second time she had bought home two packed donburi from the nearby convenience store as their dinner. And yet she quietly ate, as the other choice was to cook ramen which she had almost daily since they arrived, or to starve. 

When asked if she had wanted anything else, Wonyoung would suggest Korean food but there was none in the area, none that Sakura knew of. The younger step-sister hung her head low from the expected answer. Feeling dejected, she wordlessly continued watching Netflix on the smart TV. Most of the time Sakura would join her step-sister, despite being tired from the day’s trouble, watching whatever that was playing at the time, without knowing what anything is about. 

She would ask questions if she’s interested and Wonyoung would answer, briefly summarising the show Sakura had no idea on, or even recognise who the main characters are. Then they’re back to the comfortable silence, both eyes glued to the same screen. 

However it was due to the relaxed mood too that within minutes her focus slips and it wouldn’t take Sakura long to drift to dreamland. When she had woken up in time or before Wonyoung had headed to bed, she would join in too. However on the rare times she hadn’t, Sakura would find herself waking up in the middle of the night still sitting on the sofa but was covered with a blanket that was taken from the bedroom. 

It was weird, Sakura thought, she wasn’t sure how she knew it exactly since she had never spent time with Wonyoung before-it has only been a couple of weeks together- but she was sure her step-sister was behaving oddly. And with that in mind, Sakura tried to lessen the time the teenager had to spend alone, figuring maybe it was because of the lack of socialisation.

That was where both Nako and Hitomi were able to help, the two had agreed to come over to spend time with Wonyoung. There were a couple of times when Nako was the only one who could come over but it was her turn to be unavailable the next day when Hitomi was able to. It was either one of them or none at all. And yet that was enough as Wonyoung would be delighted with the company.

Once Sakura had come home with Nako explaining about birds to Wonyoung and to her it was the most adorable sight ever. How both her friend and her step-sister had their legs up in the air as they laid down on the living room floor looking at an encyclopedia of birds. Seeing Sakura walk in stopped their animated conversation as they greeted her, but their focus had quickly returned back toward the colourful pages after.

“I know birds can hear but I didn’t know they actually have ears,” Wonyoung tapped the book lightly with her finger, “I would assume it’s here, naturally… is that right, _unnie_?” she asked, pointing on one of the birds pictured.

“You’re almost right,” Nako beamed. “It’s slightly beneath and behind their eyes, probably here.”

“Ah, I was close,” the younger one groaned. 

“Yes you were. While they don't have ears shaped like us, like you,” there was a pause and Sakura had heard gigglings. When she had turned to look, Nako was teasing Wonyoung by lightly touching the younger girl’s earlobe. “Birds have this ear opening for sounds to go through. They're still a sharp listener, and some, like owls, are even much more sensitive to sounds. That’s how it can get food in the dark, knowing where their prey are. Although owls do have really good night visions themselves, just look at these huge eyes,”

Wonyoung hummed. Sakura had started to wonder if her step-sister had understood what was being said, especially when Nako was mixing her language, probably unaware she was doing so. A slightly higher pitched voice added with an almost endless stream of words, those were the result of being excited when someone was interested in her area of expertise. It was an endearing thing.

If Wonyoung does not understand what was said, she hasn't shown it. 

“But _unnie_ , why do these owls have black eyes but these other owls aren’t?”

“Well,” Nako pulled out her phone and started typing. Then she turned the screen toward Wonyoung, showing the words that were translated. “It’s because they’re nocturnal, which means that they’re active at night. These other owls with orange eyes hunts during dusk and dawn whereas ones with yellow eyes are those that are active during the day,”

Sakura who was sitting on the sofa pretending to watch TV when she was actually eavesdropping on the pair had learned something new that day. She did not notice there were differences in the owl's eye colour before and was applauding her step-sister internally for spotting them. The fact about birds piqued her interest that she wanted to ask a question herself. But as she was about to join in on the discussion, Nako had suddenly gotten up and announced it was time for ice cream. 

“We have ice creams?” Sakura asked.

“Nako- _unnie_ brought a tub of mint choco ice cream! I love mint choco!”

Sakura had to excuse herself since that was the kind of food she was rather opinionated in since school days, one she had disliked for the taste akin to swallowing toothpaste. Unable to say such a thing to her visibly vibrant step-sister, she merely shot Nako a glare. To Sakura’s horror, it was responded with a smirk. Of course it was planned, Nako was in fact teasing her.

Crestfallen, she went back to her room and grabbed her game console. Perhaps it was not her time to bond yet. It'll come soon, she thought.

Despite Sakura’s plans for her friends to come over to accompany her young step-sister, at times it would fall through when neither Nako nor Hitomi are able to. It was something unavoidable, Sakura understands that of course. Both Nako and Hitomi too had their own responsibilities, not that she would pry. 

Wonyoung however doesn’t share the same sentiment. The teenager was clearly disappointed every time Sakura relayed the news of her friend’s unavailability and she was verbal about her dissatisfaction. Oftentimes she would be whining toward Sakura like a lost puppy when the older one had to leave home. 

“There's no Nako- _unnie_ today?”

Sakura shook her head.

“Hitomi- _unnie_?”

There was a defeated sigh coming from Wonyoung when Sakura smiled apologetically. It was a disheartening sight and Sakura was reminded of her own young self whenever _otou_ -san had to leave her alone at home for work during weekends. Worse was when he still had to be in the office during holidays when _otou_ -san was supposed to be spending time with her. He had even promised to bring her to the fireworks festivals that she was looking forward to.

“Saa- _chan_ you can go with your friends. What about Nako?” he had said. Then he pulled out a couple of yen from his wallet and handed them out to Sakura, hoping to soothe her anger. But what had happened afterwards wasn’t what he expected.

“I don’t want your money, I hate you!”

Sakura had slapped the money away, sending the rectangular small pieces of papers scattering in the air. The action had caught her _otou_ -san off guard but she didn’t notice because Sakura had turned on her heels and ran to her room, locking the door shut. She didn't get it then and because of it she had spent days sulking, refusing to talk to the poor old man. It was a regrettable time, Sakura thought. But thinking about it made her understand Wonyoung more, in a way. She may not be Wonyoung, and they might not share the same feelings or experience but Sakura believed they can at least meet halfway. Willingness to compromise, that was what's also important in a relationship even when it's one between siblings.

The next time Sakura had given her friends a call, she just had to mention how her young step-sister had grown to love them both and wanted them to come around even more often. And they did, much to both Wonyoung’s and Sakura’s delight.

When the day of their return to Korea had arrived, both Nako and Hitomi were there driving the two step-siblings to the airport. They wouldn’t want to miss the chance to say goodbye, after all who knows when they will be able to meet each other again, or if they ever will at all.

The drive had taken them a long time and Hitomi had just gotten her driving license a few weeks before so she was extra careful in maneuvering the roads and highways. What was first planned to be a fun and loud journey had ended up being filled with comfortable silence with only the songs and occasionally the DJ from the radio accompanying them. Both Nako and Wonyoung who were the most excited had fallen asleep rather fast at the back seat, leaving Sakura and Hitomi enjoying their small talks.

“So I assume you’ve decided on what to do with your _otou_ -san’s house? You’re not going to sell it surely?”

Sakura shook her head, chuckling as she did so. “No, not selling, not ever. I wanted to though since I wouldn’t know how to take care of a house being so far away, and it may not be a lot but we would benefit a little from the extra money if I were to sell it. Y’know, for Wonyoung’s school and future? And it’ll keep us afloat for a long time especially since I haven't started looking for a job I can take in Korea, not to mention it’ll also take a while for the inheritance from _omma_ to be passed to us,” she sighed, wearily as if she had been releasing the weight of the world through that one breath.

However seeing how Hitomi had remained silent, Sakura continued with what she had in mind for a while, which was finally verbalised for the first time “there's a lot more paperwork to be done in Korea too. Hii… I’m tired.”

With eyes still on the road, the grip on the steering wheel tightened but Hitomi was smiling.

“You did well. I’m sorry that things have to go this way but you really did well, Sakura.” 

Hearing her name and the comforting words being said had almost made the tears spill. There was something about the way they were being said that had struck a chord, or it was probably because she had been struggling for so long she wanted to be acknowledged of it, at least once. And yet who was she to ask for something so trivial when it was her responsibility all along?

Even when Hitomi had thought otherwise.

Sakura mumbled a barely audible ‘thank you’ under her breath and the silence ensued, accompanying them until they arrived at their destination. Both Nako and Wonyoung woke up in time and they groggily followed Sakura’s footsteps as she sent off their luggage to the counter. When everything was checked in and settled, it was time for the two step-sisters to make their way toward the boarding hall. With a pout, the much taller Wonyoung gave her step-sister’s friends a hug, enveloping them which turned out to be a funny sight for Sakura. The young girl had also been repeating on how much she will miss both Nako and Hitomi and that they should come over to Korea to visit her.

“Promise me you’ll come,” she insisted, showing her pinky fingers, which Nako linked with her own. 

“Alright, alright, I will,” the three of them giggled and Hitomi did the same, sealing the sacred promise to visit. If broken they’ll be sure to face the wrath of a very angry bunny. Satisfied, Wonyoung then turned to face Sakura, looking forward to how the friends bid their goodbye to each other. As if she was caught in a trap, Sakura hesitantly and awkwardly moved toward her friends and gave both of them a hug at the same time. The three of them were rigid, almost unnatural and their hug had a huge gap between their bodies. It had looked as uncomfortable as the once experiencing it but Wonyoung was having her time of the day watching from the side.

“Thank you, guys,” Sakura had said.

Before finally leaving, she had left the pair copies of her house keys, asking them to keep an eye out for the abandoned home. “You can sleep over if you wanted to, a place to hide or something,” she added but both Nako and Hitomi rejected the idea despite still taking the keys.

With a heavy heart, Sakura (followed by her step-sister) took the steps moving away further and further from the place she had called home. It was weird, she thought. She was eager to leave but when the time came she had felt sad and wanted to change her mind. It’ll probably be easier if she was to stay, it's much more comfortable after all and life can return to how it was before. But then what about Wonyoung?

She glanced to the side and the younger one returned the gaze, resulting in an innocent eye contact. All of a sudden the nagging feelings of wanting to stay evaporated in that moment. She had vowed to herself before that she will care of her step-sister and so the thought of returning to the comfort of familiarity shouldn't be able to tempt her. 

“Are you excited to go home?” she quietly asked Wonyoung when they had been seated on the flight.

“I’m… not sure _unnie_ …”

The answer was as puzzling as it was understandable. Sakura knew Wonyoung was probably looking forward to it.

Even if no one was waiting for them there, it was still home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i sold my soul.  
> p/s: thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> the title is me having no creativity and just.. idk.. i didnt think, there was no thought made for it. if youre reading this, pls patiently wait for the update as im a very inconsistent person lmao. have a nice day


End file.
